Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Turning Another Corner

Jane and I called Benton Hospice Service, and they came Tuesday afternoon and did an intake appointment. Our Hospice nurse, Danise, is wonderful, and spent the better portion of an hour talking with me and Jane about the services that Hospice provides. It's incredible having such an organization to support us!

This journey of Jane's cancer and treatments began just 15 months ago, and during the course of the past 15 months, time has seemed to drag on, excruciating, painfully slow; almost at times a feeling of standing still. In retrospect, that was probably a good thing. For those of you who have lived with cancer, or with someone who has/had cancer, you probably know what I mean. We have tried to live our lives as if we were not prisoners to this "thing" but I'm not sure how well I have accomplished that.

The part in this posting about "Turning Another Corner" is this: as I mentioned, the past 15 months went slowly, but since yesterday, it feels as though a large boulder has been set loose, and is in motion, and there's nothing now that can be done to stop it. I am afraid of how quickly it will roll over me.

I went to work today, and had to leave early because I just could not bear being away from Jane at this juncture. Last night was a terrible night for her. Up until 1:30am, and then vomiting everything she had swallowed all day. She is on a liquid diet now, and even liquids do not seem to want to stay down.

I got home, walked to Jane's bedside and fell to pieces. And being the amazing woman she is, she comforted me.

We continue to receive wonderful support from all of our friends; at church, at the hospital, and family as well. Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you do for us during this difficult time.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Jane & Doug,
I am so sorry you are feeling so badly & that we couldn't do more to make it go away. I hope the hospice staff will be a real blessing to you, & don't hesitate to call Dr Neville for anything. He really is a good man & will do anything he can to help you. I wonder if a liter or 2 of IV fluids would help Jane feel much better. Perhaps they could do that over a couple hours at home, even.

My prayer is that God blesses you with the comfort & presence that He promises us. He is so close when we are in pain, His Spirit lives inside you & will never leave.
What an amazing analogy, to think of God as a father. It makes me cry to think of how sad you must have felt to see Daniel give up his license, but how amazingly Daniel has grown through this awful experience. Both his comment to Jane about eternity & his ability to sacrifice something for his family show that he is becoming the young man you hope for. He is learning to love & to follow God. You must be so proud of Daniel!I pray he continues to learn, seek & grow. Don't regret you can't give your kids the "things" that we wrongly assume must be best for them. You are excellent parents; teaching them what is truly important, & they are learning.
Of course Joe & I are here to do anything you might need. Just let us know. You are in my prayers

April 24, 2008 at 9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Doug and Jane;
Choosing Hospice is a very wise choice. They were wonderful when my Father was on Hospice. They take care of the whole family in amazing ways. They are angels on earth. Love and prayers, Regina

April 25, 2008 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger rosepua said...

I agree that it seems like the boulder has been dislodged. SO not fun! Gotta play catch again with Miss Jane... Love you, MA

April 28, 2008 at 8:42 PM  

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