Rough Seas

Isn't this supposed to be getting better? I feel like a ship being tossed about on a mad sea, no land in sight, not even the horizon of the sea itself. Nothing but wave after wave of turbulent, foaming, crashing, power.

The last couple of days have been the most difficult yet. Conversations with those who have taken the journey ahead of me have helped tremendously, but this is a journey that each of us must ultimately go through on our own. I don't mean that friends don't help, they do, and at times I feel that the Lord is near, and shares my pain; sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I feel as though I want to crawl into my bed, curl up and sleep forever. But my practical side usually wins, and I get up, get doing the things I need to do, and put one foot in front of the other. To steal a line from the movie "The Gladiator", Russell Crowe's armor-bearer said, "Some of the time I do what I want to do, the rest of the time I do what I have to."